Friday, September 21, 2012

Staying Solitary?

My journey on this path has shifted over the 13 years I've been walking it.  From gathering information to joining an eclectic circle of women to heading out on my own.  The heading out on my own part just happened to coincide with having my children.  And so the life of a solitary practitioner has been spotty for me.  I've done ritual, worked in trance and gathered with others to celebrate, honour and feast.  I have set goals and met them, but often not met them.  This has been a matter of priority setting for me.  It has been my choice to put my family first and so my spiritual practice has taken a backseat many times.
As I emerge from babyland to a place where my children are more independent from my care things are shifting.  And although my tunnel still feels long at times there is a beacon there.  
I have heard others recently describing their religious work in a group and their spiritual practice alone.  I'm still abrasive to the word religion for many reasons but I understand the desire to make the distinction between work done in a group and alone.
As the years move on I understand more about the ebbs and flows of life.  What I am coming to realize is that the initial aspects of paganism that compelled me to call myself a pagan are changing.  I see this as a natural evolution as I become more and more in tune with my inner self.  And as these shifts occur I find that my desire to understand interests and origins grows.  I have never thought of myself as a seeker in the sense of how the word is used around the pagan community these days.  But where I may go in the future to deepen my understanding may bring me to work with other pagan groups.  By other I mean Druidry and Nordic faiths.  All of my group work has been in Wiccan based faiths, some very eclectically so.   I will take the next few years to do more reading, understand fully where I have come from and then decide where to go from there.
I think the "teacher" or "teachers" I may seek will present themselves at the moment they are meant to.  For now I feel comfort in the idea that this path will swerve around and bring me places I can't imagine for myself when the time is right and when I can make this part of my life more prominent again.  

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