Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Belly Update: 31 weeks

Tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks along on this journey.  I would like to pretend that I'm all rainbows and lollipops but I can't say that I am.  Words to describe how I'm feeling these days: grateful, tired, apprehensive, uncomfortable, irritated, melancholy, excited....I don't like many of those.  They make me have less patience, be prone to emotional outbursts and introspective.  Being pregnant is the ultimate in being introspective.  I feel this little guy within me all the time.  The glory of sharing your body with another is that intimacy.  What I find challenging right now is that I need to be solitary and between a three old and a gestating baby I am never alone. 
I can't remember feeling this way with my first pregnancy but my life was so different then that it's almost ridiculous to compare the two. 
I am so blessed to have the opportunity to carry this child, to learn some of his little quirks even now without having seen his face.  Getting ready for him is coming along nicely.  There are some timing issues that are a bit stressful but they are completely out of my control.  So what will be, will be.
If I was better at this process I may be one of those women with a brood of children.  Two will be plenty, thanks.  However challenging I may find pregnancy it is worth it to add this little man to our family. 
Another difference this time has been that my creative impulses have been humming along.  The first pregnancy  I lost all interest in sewing and did no art that I can remember.  This time I've felt lots of desire to sew and I've even completed 7 rows of piecing Ky's quilt together.  I have another 5 and then I will piece them together along with the 4 outer pieces and be done the top.  It may be too ambitious to say but I'd love to have the top done before little man makes his entry.
At 31 weeks I can say that I'm in a place of trying to keep one day at a time in mind.  Get through this hour, this minute, laugh when I can, enjoy these last weeks of having just my big boy around, not let things run away in my head and of course breathe.

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