Saturday, May 9, 2009
Just a little Green
Yesterday was not my best day. Sometimes a day will present you with emotional challenges. Things inside were set churning over an email. Imagine that...
For most of the day I tried to keep my head above water, going into deep emotional states is not conducive to raising a small child. As the fates would have it my son was in a great mood and took a break from the teething induced tantrums that we'd been dealing with earlier in the week. So while my inside felt like a storm of angry bees the world around us was fairly calm. After nap time we went for a walk to our neigbourhood park. On the way I often felt worn out as it is mostly uphill but I knew that it would get better, I just had to keep going. We come into the playground area of the park through a natural woods trail. This is my favorite part. The trails are like a portal for me. They offer a chance to let go, smell trees and plants, hear birds, see light dancing with many shades of green. From the time I enter the trail until we reach the opening to the large green field that joins the playground I decompress.
Kyan had his usual long jaunt on the swings and then he played in the sand. I sat on the edge of the sand area and felt the earth beneath draw out my unease. The shades of green all around me, bright young grass, buds and new green leaves, moss on the sides of the trees all gave me comfort. Inside I wished I could go into the underbrush and brambles off the forest path and sit by a large tree. I felt that green would protect me. I could let all of it go and just be, become one with the forest and blend into the green. Fade away to anyone else's view and re-emerge when I had more strength again.
I could not do this of course. My little man is not capable of letting me fade away too far just yet. I felt better after our walk and playtime regardless though. Nature is a healer, it can renew and embrace us. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to sit for those few minutes, even amongst the other park goers, and let the earth and it's beauty soothe the turmoil inside.