Thursday, July 10, 2008
After 6 months of mommyhood I began to notice the trends that I had never seen clearly before. Moms never have a day off. At my "real" job of pre-parenthood I worked five days and then had two days to rest. Moms don't get days to rest...
I remember my Mom working a full week outside the home and then on Saturday mornings cleaning our house, she would rush to get it done as quickly as she could and then move on to more relaxing or fun things. I used to think to myself: why doesn't she just relax? Why bother to get it done so quickly? Its not such a big deal having a clean house, etc. I'm sure many of us can remember thinking our parents should relax and not stress out so much.
Well the clouds of childhood and the teenage years have cleared. And I must admit I still had those clouds well into my early twenties, by my late twenties they had slightly faded leaving me a small inkling of what the future held. I remember thinking to myself: if I can't manage the mess two people make how on earth will I manage with a family? Manage is a key word here, and staying sane is another. I am compulsive when it comes to how cleaning is done but I let go of control so that my husband could pitch in. And he did/does. But I always have a list in my head of what needs to be done. There is also one in my day planner that I take great pleasure in crossing off when it is accomplished.
The answers to the naive questions that I asked of my Mother so long ago are very simple.
If I don't do it no one will...
and If I don't do it quickly now I will never have time to do the really fun things I want to do.
So I have taken stock of the fact that parenting is a full time job...not in the 40hrs+ a week sense but in the 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year sense. When I began to notice that all the days of the week blended and whether my husband was home or not my job just felt the same, I decided to take action. While I am working full time in the home I work five days a week at cleaning etc. and on the weekends I do the minimum. That is take care of Kyan and make meals, usually that means a load of laundry or two, but no other "work" like tasks.
So while this is not a "weekend" of rest like I previously had, I feel like the days are different and I can enjoy myself more and not worry about house work or getting tons done. This has been challenging because I have to stop myself sometimes and say "no". Just because your son and husband are enjoying play time together you should not take this chance to wash the kitchen sink. Just sit and relax or read or sew. I highly recommend Mommy Weekend!