Veiling: My Thoughts

Dave and I, July 29, 2006

The controversy over recent months regarding veiling in the pagan community has been very interesting.  I'm not sure why it has been such a "hot topic."  It seems whenever a woman chooses to dress a certain way lots of people have opinions about that.  Personally I support an informed choice to dress however a person chooses to.  From culture to culture there are numerous examples of women veiling for religious, cultural and personal reasons.  From modesty, to devotion to ones gods, and then of course we have the forced veiling of women for control under men.  Pagan women like the ones quoted in this article are adopting this practice for diverse reasons, all of them stemming from informed choice.  I see this choice as thoughtful and subjective and for myself at this time not one I'm making.

Thinking about this topic has left me with two comparisons in my own life to experiences with veiling or not.  The most obvious one being for my marriage.  When I wed Dave I made my wedding dress and we had our ceremony outside.  When it came to what to wear on my head I chose not to wear a veil.  The casual aspect of our day and the style of my dress just didn't fit with a veil to me.  Also I wanted to feel open to the universe as I made my vow.  My hair flowed down my back and I work a sparkling silver headband of blue flowers.  I did now know it then but my choice was more in keeping with Anglo Saxon tradition of flowing hair and a crown of flowers since the current fashion of veils was ushered into vogue by Queen Victoria.

The first time I used a veil during trance work went very well.  It was encouraged as part of a Baba Yaga meditation and I found it much easier to journey that way.  Perhaps it was the covering of my crown chakra that helped.  I was able to look internally easier.  I felt more cut off from those around me and able to quiet ego and chatty internal dialogue.

Using a scarf or wrap in this way is very helpful in such work.  I think it encourages quiet and self reflection.  It can be likened to a horse with blinders on, keeping you focused on the task ahead or in this case inside.

Also I have read that head covering can help with keeping other people's energy from overwhelming you in public.  Again I think it helps to keep you from being open, or too psychically exposed so to speak.  In that way veils are a useful tool spiritually just like tarot cards or an altar cloth; serving a specific purpose to meet a  need in practice.

The cultural impact of practicing veiling in public is more complex and can lead to one being mistaken for another type of religious follower.  Since this choice is one that requires maturity and thoughtfulness I'd hope that anyone doing it in public would have the self assurance to take any misinterpretations in stride.  As pagan culture continues to develop and mature we will face many more new/old practices that will challenge our preconceived ideas of what and who we are collectively and as individuals.

Needlework in Magic

[updated July 4th, 2014 - as information regarding Marion Zimmer Bradley's sexual abuse of children has been revealed I am deeply distressed but will leave this post as it is.  Mists of Avalon was a work that I loved to read but I no longer endorse Bradley's work.  In no way do I feel her art makes up for committing sexual abuse or turning the other way when a loved one commits such acts.]

Many artists, myself included feel as if they are conduits for divine energy.  I do not separate my artwork from my spiritual practice because when I make art I connect to a deep soul place that resonates with both my artistic and spiritual self.

Spiritual artwork is brought forth in many forms and has been used to adorn magical objects and places for thousands of years.  In my case this work is created with a needle and thread.  Whether through embroidery, quilting or sewing functional objects with each stitch I try and connect with a deeper flow and sense the divine moving through my fingers.
One of the most eloquent and powerful descriptions of this can be found in Marion Zimmer Bradley's classic Mists Of Avalon.  Morgaine is a priestess of Avalon and is told to make the scabbard for Arthur's sword.  She enters into a ritual space where she will channel the Goddess and embroider spells to protect the sword's bearer in battle.

On the first day, she cut, using the sword itself, an undersheath of thin doeskin. It was the first time she had had fine tools to work with, and she took pleasure in the special iron needle she had been given to stitch the sheath together...

Fashioning the shapes of doeskin sheath and velvet to cover it, she spent the first day; and before she slept, deep in meditation of what she must do, almost a trance, she cut her arm a little and smeared the doeskin with her blood...

All that day, in silence, she worked, gazing into the chalice, letting the images rise, now and then stopping to wait for inspiration in the meditative flow; she worked the horned moon, so that the Goddess should always watch over the sword and guard the sacred blood of Avalon. She was so wrapped in the magical silence that every object on which her eyes gazed, every movement of her consecrated hands, became power for the spell; it seemed at times as if visible light followed her fingers as she followed the horned moon with the full moon, and then with the dark moon, for all things must follow in season...there were times when it seemed that needle and thread moved through her own flesh or through the flesh of the land, piercing earth and sky and her own blood and body...

By sunset of the third day it was finished, every inch of the scabbard covered with twining symbols, some of which she did not even recognize; surely they had come directly from the hand of the Goddess through her hands? She lifted it; slid the sword into it; weighted it in her hands; then said aloud, breaking the ritual silence, "It is done."

(Here is a visual rendition of this scene in the book) 

While I have never had an experience as grand as this telling the trance-like rhythm of needlework often carries me to a space that feels between.  As I look towards a future of making more time to create artwork I see this as a technique to develop not only for my art career but also for my spiritual practice and journey.

From Wolf to Doe

Puberty brought me my first encounter with a spirit animal. I use the term here in the sense of an animal that you feel drawn to or that comes to you and that guides or imparts wisdom through their nature that aides one on their spiritual path.
I probably heard of the concept during my teenage years and when my fascination with wolves took hold I equated it to the New Age/Indigenous People's mold. Over the years wolves not only decorated my bedroom walls but called to me from movies, books and art. I dreamed that one day I would go on a organized group trip to howl with wolves to the light of the full moon, and yes it was an interest that was very romantic to me. I was often angered at the misconceptions about wolves in our culture, how they were blamed for everything from low elk numbers to stealing children and I used any opportunity presented to dispel myths about them.
As far as the spiritual side however, I can't say that I did much work with the wolf spirit. One meditation that came to me frequently was running through a dense forest from a wolf's perspective. I felt breath, low, quick movement and physical power in that state. It has been years since the wolf and I have conversed but she has remained an animal that I have great respect and admiration for.

Fast forward to my trance work now. I have received a different visitor. In two trances I have interacted with a doe and her fawn. In the last one she informed me that she is now my spirit animal. This shocked me somewhat. I had just assumed that I would stay with the wolf spirit my whole life. But the doe informed me otherwise. She told me that it was time to move into my mother role and embrace the qualities that I need to feed my soul now. I have reflected on this a lot since the meditation and I've come to some conclusions through research into the differences in the animals.

While wolves are obviously still mothers in their packs I think the wolf was my maiden animal. Puberty brought the wolf to me when I needed to learn to respect my emotions and unconscious urges. My early twenties brought me to face my darker side which the wolf is supposed to aide with. They are fiercely loyal and that quality is one that will always be with me, I still see many wolf qualities in my nature. But as I learn of the doe, and examine my new fascination with deer I see that the internal fierceness that I needed during my teen years and during my twenties is quieter now. I still need to be fierce but in a radically new way: that of compassion, gentleness and patience.

During my pre-natal classes I was asked to pick some words that I felt would represent my internal needs during childbirth. I picked Surrender Warrior. Dave thought that they were a contradiction and on first glance they are but to me they made the most sense to the childbirth process and my feelings about it. Two years into motherhood they still make sense to me. The doe listens, she offers alternative paths to a goal, she sacrifices for the higher good and all the while maintains a fierce protection of her young. The outward picture of gentleness and grace can be overcome in an instant if a predator is near. The doe is my helper and guide through the trials of motherhood, the good, the bad and the ugly. But while she is an example of how I connect with my mothering she is also a herald of my journey inward. The Hind (red female deer) referred to as the Eilid in Gaelic, tempts one to explore their own magical and spiritual nature. She has arrived just as I feel called to look deeper and find more meaning. So while I greet her with open arms and am so glad to have been chosen by her, I miss my wolf self slightly. Perhaps she will return in another incarnation someday, but who I was before, who she was before is now a part of the past.

Deer now pop out of the woodwork everywhere I go. The Stag visits as well, though he reserves his lessons for very select periods so far. I've also realized that indications of this change have been coming up for several years now but I guess I was too distracted to listen to the signals. I have several books related to deer that I thought I had read and absorbed but now I feel compelled to read them again. I love that the universe spins you sometimes and says Ha! You thought you had it all figured out but you didn't. And in terms of my soul this could not have come at a better time.

The Little Things Fall into Place

Mother Moon's Message November Giveaway

Wow, what a week. It seems that the post ideas percolating in my head have only just now sorted themselves out to come out of my fingers and onto this page. In September I wrote about my feelings concerning my path and how I should define it for the pagan community at large. The universe is a magical place and when I said I was open to change it decided to grace me with some insight. Trance work has been the key in this transition. Symbols have been coming up and revealing clues to further research. I can't delve into each one in one post but I wanted to mention one in particular because it seems that November is offering up some wonderful giveaways for us all to enjoy.

I have had two runes present themselves to me in my sacred trance space. I have never studied runes before, despite having a set that some friends made for me years ago. Divination in general has never been a huge focus of my practice. I would search it out here and there when I felt the timing in my life needed it or it suited the ritual I was doing but I have never felt the need to study runes before now. These two images were illuminated on the entryway to my internal trance space. The first one was laguz:

"(L: Water, or a leek.) Flow, water, sea, a fertility source, the healing power of renewal. Life energy and organic growth. Imagination and psychic matters. Dreams, fantasies, mysteries, the unknown, the hidden, the deep, the underworld. Success in travel or acquisition, but with the possibility of loss"

This symbol helped me to see that change was coming. An inward change that I spoke about in September, a change that was renewing and soul affecting. This rune came to me in January of this year so it was a lengthy herald of future soul work.

The next one that emerged during the October full moon meditation that I did was ansuz:

"(A: The As, ancestral god, i.e. Odin.) A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, speech, true vision, power of words and naming. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom."

During this trance I was seeking guidance and help with a few emotional issues. One concerned parenting and the other body image. This trance presented me with several answers and revealed some wonderful insight into who I am today. In relation to runes, seeing this rune and learning its meaning made me think about researching runes further and that despite my apparent lack of Scandinavian heritage I was called to explore them as a divination tool. If anyone can recommend a good Rune meaning book I'd love for you to mention it in the comments. I have found a fantastic website from which I've quoted the meanings above called www.sunnyway.com/runes. I have not read it extensively yet but it is on my to-do list.

And serendipitously this month there are two rune set giveaways in the blogsphere.
Domestic Witch is giving away a rose quartz set of runes that are just lovely. So head on over. You can enter until the 28th of November. And Mother Moon's Message is giving away a set made from willow wood that was reclaimed from a fallen tree on her property. You have until November 30th to get your name in.

Runes have given me new eyes through which to view messages from the universe. Despite my confusion concerning how to label my path I am asking for guidance and receiving it. I'm very grateful for the blessings of autumn's stillness within me.

Here comes the rain

Today it's raining. We've had a strange amount of sun this winter/spring and the rain feels soothing to me. Although I also feel permanently in foggy head mode. Besides wanting to take a nap I want some inspiration and some "me" time. My lack of free time in the last few months has put my trance work on hold. This has been hard for me. I did celebrate Beltaine but I have felt a disconnect internally. Hopefully I can remedy that today and do some meditation. I offer this poem up to the rain spirits.

The Rain
by Robert Creeley

All night the sound had
come back again,
and again falls
this quiet, persistent rain.

What am I to myself
that must be remembered,
insisted upon
so often? Is it

that never the ease,
even the hardness,
of rain falling
will have for me

something other than this
something not so insistent-
am I to be locked in this
final uneasiness.

Love, if you love me,
lie next to me.
Be for me, like rain,
the getting out

of tiredness, the fatuousness, the semi-lust
of intentional indifference
Be wet
with a decent happiness.

What's in a Name?

In my spiritual practice I have been covering new ground and looking over older ideas and seeing if they still apply to my practice today. Specifically in the areas of trance work and magical names.
The stage I am at in my trance work (following the guidelines laid out by Poppy Palin in her book: Craft of the Wild Witch.) is one where I am to find my magical name. In Palin's opinion the name is to be used in reference to the astral or inner self that is manifest in a trance journey.
This has lead me to read and meditate on the nature of magical names in the pagan community and how they are chosen, used and found. I currently have a magical name, and while there are some aspects of it that I love, I definitely feel that I have moved beyond it's significance in my life.
My magical name is: Artemisia Goldenthread. This name was given to me by my circle sisters during our Samhain ritual in 2003. We had an eclectic pagan circle of three. We were not a coven, which would have changed the "rules" for magical names.
According to my research, within a coven many years ago, whether Wiccan or of a specific tradition, magical names were more secretive and meant to keep identities hidden in case of discovery. There is also a theory that knowing someones real name gives one power over them. Therefore a magical name was a protection measure and carried with it a certain amount of secrecy.
Today it seems magical names are very specific to which tradition you follow, in relation to how your name is used or shared. There are still many rules according to various articles, most discourage using the name of a deity, and most caution one to not choose the most popular ones.
In relating the use of a magical name to my eclectic, solitary pagan path I want to understand why I need this name, what context I will use it in, and consider why the one I now have is no longer working. Artemisia Goldenthread was chosen for me by my circle sisters. They knew me very well and chose the name based on important meaning for me. Artemisia was chosen for the plant also known as Wormwood. A plant said to be used by witches for psychic visions.
Artemisia Gentileschi was also the name of one of the first recorded female painters. Very meaningful to me in both counts. Goldenthread is taken from a line in a poem by Yeats. It was chosen because of my sewing. I do not think that I could have chosen a better name for myself.
The ritual in which we named each other was very simple but magical for us. We decided to try and keep the names secret to the three of us. We used them in sacred space. We created some art around them. I embroidered each of our names and framed them. After a few years I decided to use my name on The Witch's Voice. It was my first membership on an exclusively pagan site. And that is where my name has stayed. I feel like the name was specific to the Circle group. Since I have left the group, keeping it rings false to me, and it has been stagnant for many years. I don't think I ever fully identified myself by the name, in trance work or in the pagan community.
Why do I need a magical name at all? I now use my given name as my identity on social networks. I am indifferent to my name, I don't hate it and I don't love it. I have never thought of myself as someone who was misnamed. It just is what it is. I don't feel the need for a secret name, nor do I think that it is a tribute to how pagan I am to be dubbed something other than Jen. So I have decided to search out a magical name in trance, as a distinction for my astral self, but not to the exclusion of my "mundane" self. I would like to explore what symbols call to me, and what they say about where I am on my path. I will use the name only in my journey work, and if in the future I feel the need to share it I will.
How should I say goodbye to the other name? What do you see as the significance of your magical name? Do you have one yet? Do you want one? Here are some of the articles I read for my research. If you are searching for your magical name, or have decided to find a new one, blessings on your quest.

Choosing a Magical Name by Arin Murphy-Hiscock
The Magick of Names by Lionrhod
And a somewhat sarcastic but interesting one called:
How to Choose a Bad Magickal Name by Juliapgreen