Poem of the Month: Vanquish

A little poem as therapy (for myself) this month.

Vanquish

Stand and face the fear

you stand for your truth

something that could never stay inside

indefinitely 

it would fester, eating caverns in your gut

twisting your face into a scowl

making your limbs weak from lack of use

making you shake with impatient hands

take heart from your lessons

take love from you ancestors

make one small step and then another

do not seek approval or even acceptance

rejection is as real as praise

your offering must just be that

a piece of your soul

made manifest in cloth, in words, in song

lay it down and back away

vanquish doubt

be grateful for having the chance to create

Poem of the Month: Apples

I wrote this poem in October of 2008 less than a year after becoming a mother.   Looking back on the seasons and how quickly they pass as I sit here 4 years later and now have two sons blows my mind.

Kyan in 2009

Our World in an Apple

My son, it is the time of apples

as you sleep, curled

rosy cheeks, round and full

the dishes sit in dissolving suds

leaves fall,

cold rain pounds the ground

and I think of you

how you have changed me

how you have opened every part

the nooks and crannies of my soul

how with this opening

I am fuller,

better

deeper

than before

inside apples are five pointed stars

your smile, your temper, your laughter, your hands and your eyes.

Yes I am open.

I am susceptible.

I am vulnerable.

I care more

about everything

my maiden could be withdrawn

she could turn away

she could stay inside her dream

as mother I love in the raw

my heart pulsing in one of your hands

while in the other you hold our world

reflected on an apple

Poem of the Month: Nuance

Nuance

Shadows are there 

fallen, strewn, cast about

this path is not smooth

this path twists

back and forth

your way is not clear through

this path brings thorns

blood dripping a trail behind

one drop for each test endured

ahead is somewhat mottled 

nuances of colour

grey upon shades of grey

stars shine above you

the earth firm below

this path is yours

but you are not alone

this path brings rest and sustenance

this path takes courage

but rewards with truth

simple as it is complex

bringing strength of heart

Poem of the Month: comfort

One of my dearest and most wonderful friends is going through some serious stuff.  Heart wrenching, heavy and so, so hard.  As a friend support is all I have, love and time and positive energy.  I wanted to send these to you, may they give you some comfort or help in any hard moments to come.

My Help is in the Mountain

by Nancy Wood

My help is in the mountain

Where I take myself to heal

The earthly wounds 

That people give to me.

I find a rock with sun on it

And a stream where the water runs gentle

And the trees which one by one give me company.

So must I stay for a long time

Until I have grown from the rock

And the stream is running through me

And I cannot tell myself from one tall tree.

Then I know that nothing touches me

Nor makes me run away.

My help is in the mountain

That I take away with me.

Earth Cure Me

by Nancy Wood

Earth cure me.  Earth receive my woe.  Rock strengthen me.

Rock receive my weakness.  Rain wash my sadness away.

Rain receive my doubt.  Sun make sweet my song.

Sun receive the anger from my heart.

Poem of the Month: November messages

to M with love

at such distance

to sense that space

missing

there is a lingering sense

something just beyond reach

i have forgotten how to be without you

the struggle is more about feeling the crisis,

the misplaced energy,

the grasping that must surely find a foothold soon

we all struggle to find place

we all look outward when perhaps the place to look

is in

in to the dark, cobweb filled recess

where we put something long ago

something taken for granted

something that seemed insignificant at the time

something that makes our truth real

but is hard to accomplish

it requires our blood, so much determination

so much time, often

blinders to anything else

while I sit among reaching arms

and you resist kind meaning suggestions

it seems it was easier to dream this big dream

way back when

than to make it reality now

back on a bench in a small town

holding your hand

before we knew what we were

before birthday songs, confessions and births

but now is where we are

and i am grateful for each lesson

learned together or apart

part of us will always be sitting on that bench

and that simple joy gives me solace still

Poem of the Month: October

All We Need

by Steve Turner

Food in our bellies

Hats on our heads

Water to quench us

Sheets on our beds

Teachers to teach us

Shoes on our feet

Trousers and T-shirts

Shelter and heat.

Someone to love us

Someone to love

Hope for the future

Light from above

From this anthology of poetry written for children.  Happy Thanksgiving. 

Poem of the Month: July memories

12 summers ago I drove across Canada with a former boyfriend.  It was a cross off of my bucket list and I wrote from time to time in a small handmade journal.  This poem came from watching rolling hills somewhere in Saskatchewan, the above photo didn't.
 

July 31, 1999

in her golden dress

she dances on the clouds

the vast blue is her blanket

the rolling hills her home

she is the prairie

nourishment's name

Poem of the Month: March

New in your Wake

At a time of Spring's forthcoming fresh snow

has made a blanket on the earth

My belly pulls, the skin taunt over you

you move with purpose, strong and getting stronger

It seems that timing is a challenge these days

We try to get over illness, start new adventures

and all the while we wait

for you

Your brother sniffles again, he will be a good brother 

to you

devoted, loving and I expect protective

He is still little, still a baby to us

and yet you will be the baby now

Who are we as you arrive

A family of 3

A man meeting the challenge of supporting his family

searching for fulfillment professionally to match his

contentment with those he loves

A woman caring for her family in a new old fashioned way

an artist in her approach to life,

the family optimist and organizer

A little boy who loves trains, singing and is most

happy when we are all together,

secure in our nest

Who will you be?

The feisty one, the quiet one, the adventurer, the mystic...

All remains to be discovered

All will be new and reveal itself with time

All new in the wake of you

My Beloved Dead

This year I have chosen to honour two wonderful friends who recently crossed over.  At Spiral Dance two weeks ago I honoured my friend Phyliss who was a very dear family friend and my mom's best friend for many years.  She died almost a year ago after a battle with Cancer.  She was a generous and opinionated woman after my own heart.  We miss her very much but know that she is with us still.

And just last week my long time friend May passed.  She lived a long and vibrant life.  She loved to knit and had an ability to see things from a young perspective despite the difference in the generations that we came from.  She was ever so dear to me.  One can only hope to live life as fully as she did in the midst of a wonderful family and an optimistic outlook.

 

You have been called from the place of your dwelling,

After times, after duties, after separations,

May blessed soul-friends guide you,

May helping spirits lead you,

May the Gatherer of Souls call you,

May the homeward path rise up under your feet

And lead you gladly home.

-Soul-Leading for Someone who has Died

by Caitlin Matthews

Blog Action Day 2010: Water

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Where would we be without water?  In short we wouldn't exist.  Water is a fundamental part of our lives and western society squanders it.  I try to reduce our family's water consumption.  I think of how wasteful it is to let the water run to get it to a desired temperature, I use day old water from our reusable water bottles to water plants, I turn the water off when brushing teeth or washing hands.  I wash as much of our laundry in cold water as I can, I let the yellow mellow in the toilet.  These are small steps, things that seem like a drop in the bucket (if you'll pardon the pun.) 
I want to do more and be as careful as possible with water consumption.  I believe that water should not be owned, but should be free to all.  Clean and safe water is a human right at its most basic.  So please think about your relationship with water today.  I ask this not to make you feel guilt or hopelessness but to encourage dialogue and contemplation.  What can you do right now to respect the fundamental sacredness of water?

You can head on over to the Blog Action Day website to read all the other wonderful posts written today by thousands of bloggers.

I leave you today with a song that I wrote many years ago which shares my feelings about the element of water.

Water

Cradled by the rocking to and fro

rest on top of the water

her cup will overflow

taste salt on our skin and the willow sways

by the water

Dive deep, dive deep,

lotus

feel the well heave

we head westward wading through

rivers of reeds

Autumn leaves, autumn leaves

washed from the streets

cleansing rain solemnly beats

Emotions release untangle these weeds

laugh, play and swim

splash in the moonlight

the tide's coming in

Dive deep, dive deep,

lotus

feel the well heave

we head westward wading through

rivers of reeds

Fertile fields growing our life force

nourishment heals

and comes from the water

Womb of humanity

coral and pearl, 

glistening jewels of the water

Dive deep, dive deep,

lotus

feel the well heave

we head westward wading through

rivers of reeds

Dive deep, dive deep,

lotus

feel the well heave

we head westward wading through

rivers of reeds

Poem of the Month: July

Ode to a Womb's End

I began as a seed

an egg, growing inside

a place of moist darkness

a place I imagine to have been

a deep red

streaked with blues

there was a pulse, a warmth, a wetness

inside I was cushioned

sounds muted

connected to her, as still I am

but more

how strange then 

to have that place, the origin,

the first home, turn

on the one who housed it

how strange that once turned

it must leave, be cut away

the source becoming a hindrance

becoming instead a source of pain and torment

its inherent power shadowed by its betrayal

now an empty spot remains

done with it its primary purpose

what will fill it up?

it is a space of freedom

a space of work well done

it is a space only for her

I see a flower unfurling

petals of the palest pink

slowly opening

they are filled with light

and quiver

with the pulse of 

regeneration

Poem of the Month: April

I want to share a poem written by my Great-Step Grandmother many moons ago. She passed when I was very young but I have a few visual memories of her and this lovely little hand knit purse as well. I share her name but was not specifically named after her (but for the purpose of kindness my parents never shared that with her)


She wrote poetry and was known for her talent around the town. She was a very devout woman and most of her poems are about God and Jesus. Despite not being related by blood I think that knowing that she was a poet seeped into my subconscious as a child and naturally if Bardie (our nickname for her) could write poetry then I certainly could to. Here is a timeless poem she wrote that is simple and true.

Kindness

by Jennie Beers

When a spark of kindness
Kindles in your breast,
Keep it ever glowing,
Let nothing give it rest.

When once that spark is kindled
It will become a flame,
Use it in your daily living --
Love's its other name.

Love for one another
Keep it in your heart
With constant usage
Of your life it is a part.

Poem of the Month: Solstice

Whenever I find little gems of holiday spirit that present an alternate to the traditional songs I grew up with I like to share. So here is this month's offering: Ring out, Solstice Bells by Jethro Tull. I thought I'd post both the lyrics and the song itself since it's a very entertaining video (check out their Robin Hood style boots, love them!)

Ring Out, Solstice Bells

by Ian Anderson

Now is the solstice of the year,
winter is the glad song that you hear.
Seven maids move in seven time.
Have the lads up ready in a line.

Ring out these bells.
Ring out, ring solstice bells.
Ring solstice bells.

Join together beneath the mistletoe.
by the holy oak whereon it grows.
Seven druids dance in seven time.
Sing the song the bells call, loudly chiming.

Ring out these bells.
Ring out, ring solstice bells.
Ring solstice bells.

Praise be to the distant sister sun,
joyful as the silver planets run.
Seven maids move in seven time.
Sing the song the bells call, loudly chiming.
Ring out those bells.
Ring out, ring solstice bells.
Ring solstice bells.
Ring on, ring out.
Ring on, ring out.

Poem of the Month: Tribute

(image source)

Today is Joni Mitchell's birthday. Last year I wrote a post with details of my love affair with her music. This year I have chosen song lyrics to share. Her songwriting is superb and this one is very timely for the season. Enjoy.

Urge for Going

by Joni Mitchell

I awoke today and found the frost perched on the town
It hovered in a frozen sky, then it gobbled summer down
When the sun turns traitor cold and all the trees are shivering in a naked row

I get the urge for going
But I never seem to go
I get the urge for going
When the meadow grass is turning brown
Summertime is falling down and winter is closing in

I had me a man in summertime
He had summer-coloured skin
And not another girl in town
My darling's heart could win
But when the leaves fell on the ground
Boy winds came around, pushed them face down in the snow

He got the urge for going
And I had to let him go
He got the urge for going
When the meadow grass was turning brown
Summertime was falling down and winter was closing in

Now the warriors of winter they gave a cold triumphant shout
And all that stays is dying and all that lives is camping out
See the geese in chevron flight flapping and racing out before the snow

They got the urge for going
And they got the wings so they can go
They get the urge for going
When the meadow grass is turning brown
Summertime is falling down and winter is closing in

Poem of the Month: October

The air is getting cooler, the days shorter and there is something spooky in the air out there. This month's poem is one that speaks of the wise women and witches of old, and how they live on in us.

Her Kind

by Anne Sexton

I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air,
braver at night; dreaming evil,
I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves, closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.

A woman like that is
misunderstood
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor

where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.

I have been her kind.

Poem of the Month: September

We have emerged from a two week bout of cold followed by Roseola (a childhood virus of 3 days of high fever followed by several days of a red rash). Ky is doing much better, back to his happy self and my body has finally began to let some knots out. By Friday last week I felt like a top about to spin out of control. Thank goodness for my Mother-in-law, a bath, a date afternoon with my hubby and fantastic weather. On this eve of Equinox I offer you a blessing from Caitlin Matthews' book Celtic Devotional: Daily Prayers & Blessings.

Blessing of the Elements
(to be said on using any of the elements in daily life)

Blessed be the precious and preserving air,
the breath of life, our inspiration and delight.
Blessed be the precious and preserving fire,
the blood of life, our warming guest.
Blessed be the precious and preserving water,
the water of life, our cleansing guest.
Blessed be the precious and preserving earth,
the flesh of life, our sustainer and our wisdom.

As the summer slips...

This week I am aware of summer slipping away. There are more leaves on the path through the small woods near the park, the days are still warm but are not light for as long....the August family birthday stream is here as well. 5 birthdays in two weeks. I am preparing a feast for my mother-in-law's birthday tomorrow. It seems that Lughnasad begins the feasts and they don't stop until Yule is over. It is a busy time but I'm trying to hold on to a bit of the lazy feel of summer. I want to get to the beach several more times before the days cool down too much.
Here is the poem of the month. I wrote it ten years ago or so now. It must have been a moment of clarity and future foresight for the 21 year old me.

Turning Wheels

There are flashes in the darkness
dots, lines, stripes,
They guide us through life
flash, buzz, ring
You wonder why they must be there
nag, bother, annoy
They push you, lose you somewhere
today, yesterday, before
And you ask why they control
you, life, everyone
Scarring you with their progress
lines, wrinkles, sags
Taking some things away
love, youth, memories
They give sometimes too
knowledge, patience, friendship
no one can stop them
hope, machines, anger
They move on and on
undeniably, without reason, forever...

Indulgence

This month's poem and self-portrait feel slightly indulgent. But perhaps I'm too modest and one must do some self-reflection from time to time. Both the photo and poem were inspired on Salt Spring Island, BC.

Gifts to Me

in a secret garden the wind sounds like footsteps
dappled light of another kind flows,
hides, reveals simple pleasures
the simple thoughts and plans we'll make
the air fresh with lavender
the skin still warm from July sun
white leg, pale blue wings
these moments were gifts to me

bees still busy at their work
will sleep in darkness and wake with the dawn
black tailed does, their babies beside
prance behind blackberry bushes in bloom
my baby grows in his sleep
nestled under fresh breezes
bringing clouds that hold rain

a small time alone
reflection and quiet

these moments are gifts to me

Here comes the rain

Today it's raining. We've had a strange amount of sun this winter/spring and the rain feels soothing to me. Although I also feel permanently in foggy head mode. Besides wanting to take a nap I want some inspiration and some "me" time. My lack of free time in the last few months has put my trance work on hold. This has been hard for me. I did celebrate Beltaine but I have felt a disconnect internally. Hopefully I can remedy that today and do some meditation. I offer this poem up to the rain spirits.

The Rain
by Robert Creeley

All night the sound had
come back again,
and again falls
this quiet, persistent rain.

What am I to myself
that must be remembered,
insisted upon
so often? Is it

that never the ease,
even the hardness,
of rain falling
will have for me

something other than this
something not so insistent-
am I to be locked in this
final uneasiness.

Love, if you love me,
lie next to me.
Be for me, like rain,
the getting out

of tiredness, the fatuousness, the semi-lust
of intentional indifference
Be wet
with a decent happiness.

Happy Earth Day!

Earth day is here again. What a great day we have here too. Sunshine is out, even though it's a bit chilly. Kyan and I spent the morning on a playdate and had some park time. That will have to be our nature worship for the day, besides visiting the grocery store for some wonderful bounty.

I wanted to share my latest reluctant green purchase. Two weeks ago I lost my cellphone. Now I'm not much for fancy gadgets...I had had this cellphone for 6 years. It had no camera, a black and white screen and no internet capabilities. Call me old fashioned but I use a camera for taking photos, a computer to look up something on Google and an mp3 player to listen to music (sometimes I even use a tape deck! Imagine!!) So when looking for a new phone to purchase finding one that would do everything except wash the dishes wasn't top priority for me. I use the cellphone as a safety device. It is only there for emergencies or finding someone when we are meeting up somewhere etc. And then much to my delight my hubby said: Look this one is made from 25% recycled plastics. And I was done my search.

It's called the Moto W233 Renew. It is carbon neutral. Meaning that Motorola offsets the carbon emission production from this phone's operation, production and distribution. The outside casing of the phone is also 100% recyclable. So while I still feel bad that I lost my old phone, I am happy that I could buy a phone that is lighter on the earth.

In honour of Earth Day here is a poem I wrote this month. I hope you can get out and enjoy this day and remember the mother that loves you. Think of her especially when you eat her wonderful bounty today!

Wild Child

when your feet, so small and soft

spread out on this cold concrete

I see visions of

sprouts,

bright, green, strong, resilient

breaking apart this surface

swelling in size

returning the ground to something wild

they rise up to your knees

you run with abandon

chasing dragonflies

buttercups reflecting yellow on your chin

you spin, arms out

hands warm in the sun

you are the green man

gentle

at one with the trees

wind kissing your cheeks

with the love of the mother