No Siren's Call

I have a rather unusual confession today, the garden is not calling this spring.  For the first time since I've had a home to call my own my garden is not the place I want to create in.  Usually the urge to plant, weed and grow overwhelms me at this time of year.
Our weather is unseasonably dry and warm, perfect time to get out and plant, even if it means being more vigilant with watering than is usual in May.
I have noticed the desire to dig in the dirt lessening in the last few years but I'm a bit shocked to feel it dwindle down so much this year.
My herb pots and my tiny front plot care for themselves and I think I will head out and get some colourful annuals very soon. I have smelled lilacs and the new pink roses blooming nearby with pleasure. Not surprisingly I feel called to plant pots of bright red geraniums....like some I'll certainly see adorning window boxes on our trip to France.
Though I love to work in the soil and grow things that desire is lacking this year, I have faith it will return someday. April used to be the month where my hands started to twitch to hold plants, and I'd take out my gardening journal and check my notes, but these things can not be forced.
So the siren song of playing with nature is not where my hands are called to be this spring.  But here is to the rest of you and your glorious gardening time.

 

April's Restless Moon

There are many more poetic names for April's moon: Pink moon, Sprouting Grass moon, Egg moon....but at this moment Restless is all I can call it.  After two nights in a row of disturbed sleep, tossing, crying, calling out, strange dreams, I'm a little on the grumpy side.

This month has been great in terms of weather, we've planted some seeds, watched some grow bigger than their little pots, started soccer, singing and swimming.  The boys have taken a cue from the seedlings and are growing and eating like crazy.  The events in Boston, Texas and family emergencies have been overwhelming and emotional.

The fullness of this time of life comes up often.  Full schedules, full heads, the fullness of life being reborn with the spring.  I'm trying to take concrete steps to keep us flowing with this but the month has left both Dave and I and probably the boys too feeling tired and slow to adjust to the longer days of light.

My new artwork schedule has been put in place and is rewarding beyond words.  Having set aside that time to just make art and let out the images or words that build up inside out of my head, along with a weekly yoga practice and time in nature feeds my soul.  I feel like a more whole person; like the pieces of me that have been on the back burner have equal footing.

With this change comes transitions that are contributing to the restlessness though.  Weaning Elliott, I remember it not being easy and overall it is going very well.  But there is a certain cry he'll make at night when he really just wants to nurse but I've already given him his scant allotment of two short sessions and it is just so forlorn.  It makes me so sad.  That cry cuts right to my guts, pulling out guilt and sorrow for the baby stage that is soon to go and will never be seen again by us.  It is really such a personal thing between him and I, a journey begun at his birth, somewhat of an extension of the pregnancy itself in that only the two of us share it.  I can only hope that we are moving at a pace that is sensitive to his development and that once this season of our bond comes to an end it will fade into his unconscious like it did with his brother in such a way that Kyan has no memory of nursing beyond the physical closeness that we shared which he continues to experience through hugs and cuddles.

Change, transitions, new green, sprouts, sunshine, rain, restless birthing spring.

Tales from My Garden Wrap-up 2012

Today my thoughts have turned away from my own garden and towards the busy season of Autumn before us.  Tomorrow I'm going to this with my lovely friend Sarah and our littles.  We'll have a ritual to celebrate the Equinox and enjoy the gorgeous scenery of these gardens.  I've been looking through recipe books to find a perfect fall cake to bring and soon another trip to pick apples will be scheduled.

As our calender fills up the garden is quietly beginning its decline.  The re-roofing project on our townhouse pulled me away from the garden earlier than ever this summer.  I was happy with the bountiful lemon balm which is still on the list for the dehydrator, as is the applemint.  The bee balm was eaten alive by something but I'm hopeful that it will come back next year.  I've dried raspberry leaves for tea and hope next year to get a harvest of berries from the plant.  As for the back patio plants the tomatoes continue to ripen over at my neighbour's place since our deck is a construction zone.  The cucumber didn't produce well and the parsley was not as prolific this year as last. 

I've taken away several lessons from this year's experiments.  The summer's abundance or lack thereof has given me lots to ponder.  With each lovely tomato that we've eaten (there haven't been that many so we've savored each one) I've become more decided that my tomato growing days are over for this period of my life.  I have tried for 3 years now and though each year has proven more successful than the last I think overall I can find a much better use for my time elsewhere.  Because of the heat on our deck the tomatoes require more attention than normal.  I'd rather be sewing than doting on tomatoes.  Especially when I have such wonderful options from the farmer's market in terms of heritage varieties and the like.

Our peas were great this year although no english shelling peas next year.  Just the snap ones will do for our summer snacks.  I'd need double to triple the production I did this year with the shelling peas to make it worthy of my time. 

The rhubarb was very abundant this year and I got many harvests from the one plant.  Next year I plan to get some manure for it in spring just to give it that extra boost it may need.  And otherwise I plan on getting more flowers for the patio next year so that my eyes and the bees and butterflies can enjoy them.  Growing food is a wonderful pursuit and I think it may take more of a central role in our family in the future.  For the next few years though I'm going to put my efforts into other areas and take advantage of the myriad of organic/biodynamic options that are all around the city.

There is still lots of work left in terms of putting all the plants to sleep and cleaning up pots for overwintering.  Last fall I got lazy and left it all out in the rain for the winter...something that I regretted this spring since carrying drenched pots of old potting soil is not fun.  I will plan out some fall days to clean up the remaining pots and also plan to cover the front bed with leaves for extra mulch and to add to the Halloween display that is in my mind's eye.  As always I'm grateful for the lessons that growing and working with the soil impart.  I hope your garden has blessed you with lessons and abundance this year. 

Tales from my Garden

With the arrival of the sun my sauna-like conditions on the patio went into high gear.  Besides drying laundry in record time I also have my tomatoes in for trial number 3.  So far suckers have been removed and blossoms are not falling off.  The container gardening course I took in May gave me some great tips about keeping the pots moist all day so hopefully I'll be rewarded with some tasty tomatoes eventually.

Peas are growing bigger and trying to hang on in the heat.  I'm trying to let the shelling peas mature as much as I can before I harvest them.  The snap peas are a living snack bar...eat as you go by.

  I'm onto my second harvest of rhubarb so far from the front plot.  I think there will be at least one more run and strawberry rhubarb jam is the result this time.  I hope to freeze the remainder for some winter muffins or crisps.
I didn't plant much in terms of flowers this year since our roof is being redone and debris could damage them.  But there is a little bit of colour out there and it always brings a delight to the eye.

So far this year my little garden is as happy as it can be.  How does your garden grow?

Book of the Month: planting a seed

There is a new favorite in our family.  This time it is not mama, dada or big brother who love a specific book but the littlest member of our foursome.  Elliott has chosen The Carrot Seed By Ruth Krauss as his current read of choice.  There are a couple other books that he enjoys but this one is special because it is about the littlest member of the family and how his faith and perseverance is rewarded.

 I bought this book when Ky was a baby.  The vintage colours and illustration style called to me from the cramped book shelves of Value Village.  It is copyrighted 1945 and the illustrations were done by Krauss' husband Crockett Johnson.  A quick internet search didn't reveal a ton of information about Ruth although she is regarded as a star of child literature (not that uncommon for many women artists unfortunately).  I saw on Amazon that someone has written a biography about the couple that will be released this fall.  What I admire about the story is that it is simple and has a wonderful message.

The little boy plants a seed and the rest of the family says it won't come up.  When it gets to the page with the big brother piping in Kyan will run over and recite his line: "It won't come up."  And then...

The whole family is in one illustration together and Kyan will point to each character and name us as the family.  I mean we look like them, don't you think?  Oh, right my hair is never that coiffed, but Dave has always harbored a secret desire to take up pipe smoking (really!)  And if the suit was replaced by a hoodie and jeans we'd be in business.

All kidding aside, what makes my heart sing about this story is that while it must be hard to be the littlest brother and try something on your own when everyone tells you it won't work, if you believe in yourself you can make your goals happen.  I love the message that Elliott and Kyan get each time we read this to them.  Granted at 15 months Elliott may not get the deeper meaning but something about this book compels him to want to see it again and again.  That's a great start.

Tales from my Garden: 2012

I feel a bit behind in sharing about the garden progress already and it's still only May. As we head into a week of rain my pots are out on the deck getting a good soaking.  The snap and shelling peas are over a foot tall, I've picked out two new varieties of tomatoes to try and planted cucumbers .  Fingers crossed on those!  This year I also decided to double up on parsley because we love it in almost everything.  I also got some applemint, lemon balm, lavender and bee balm.  In the front plot the tulips are just getting past and I'm really excited about our first rhubarb harvest (once I use up the last frozen rhubarb in the freezer.)  I may add one more round of plants in a month or so, but for the most part it's time to sit back a bit and let nature do her thing.

  

Slow

I've been such a bad blogger these last weeks.  That in and of itself makes me sad a bit but I guess sometimes you have to put things on the back burner to get other things done.  It feels like everything from the weather to my household routine are taking their time these days.  Moving, but oh, so slowly.  And since things are not linear they spiral up and down, around and around.  In truth I've written several posts in my head and just need to scan this or photograph that and then of course write them.  The ebbs and flows of this life often surprise me in sudden realizations of oh, yah, it's been days since I "...."
But regardless, I'm here.  Doing my thing.  Cooking porkchops, making Easter cookies, walking Kyan to pre-school, planting peas & a raspberry bush, and going to Co-op meetings.  Looking longingly at piles of fabric, stepping out of my comfort zone, swimming with the boys and setting a naptime for Elliott that so far is helping his sleep become more regular.

Today I got to sit in the sunshine and eat salad and drink chai with two lovely women with our boys dancing crazily around us.  And in the not so great end I've now burnt two pots of chickpeas this week.  So I'm taking this to mean that the universe does not want us to eat hummous this week.  So be it.  Sunshine is in the forecast, that is enough for now.

Limiting the limitless

A little rant of sorts has been drifting through my tired brain these last few weeks.  It was sparked by a dawning in my mind of an idea that isn't shared much in the crafty mama blogs that I read.  Searching for inspiration in blogland is not hard.  There are tons of smart and accomplished people out there doing what seems like it all.  Urban homesteading or moving to the farm, entrepreneurs, professionals, creative women making time to take classes or read and learn skills for making the everyday less consumerist and more handmade.
I am so inspired by this, often it lights a fire in this dreamer's soul and I accomplish things and have the courage to try.  And even if I don't try those specific ideas the fact that someone else is makes me glad and gives me a sense of accomplishment for the things I do make my own.
And that is what I wanted to share today.  How have I made the choices to "do" or "admire".  What criteria I have considered and why I think that limitations are really important, especially for mamas today.
Just to put some background on myself before I begin to list my limits: I'm neither a Type A personality nor a perfectionist.  I think motivation is often highly affected by these things.  Feeling compelled to "do it all" is more typical of those traits.  I have lots of laid-back, "good enough" in me.  That is both a blessing and a curse.  But knowing that about yourself can help you to set and not overreach your own limits.  Where do you fall in the spectrum in between master of all trades and master of none?
So setting the scene with me not being a master of all trades type I have chosen to work and become as proficient as possible at skills that resonate strongly with me:

Gardening.  Each year I plant.  I water, weed and tend.  I have had some success and lots of failure here.  There is little that I would pass on in terms of advice because I consider myself a novice at best.
My goal is to one day have a vegetable garden and hopefully a space that I could tend with Permaculture principals in mind.  For now I have a small front bed and my balcony.  I love flowers, herbs, fostering space for bees, birds and butterflies, and producing some food for the family.  I do not aspire to produce all or even most of our food, the level of skill, time and space that I would need for that is beyond my scope and desire.  An example of how I have set my gardening limit is by planting some edibles and flowers together, building on past success while still experimenting as well.  This year I'll plant more snap peas (which were our biggest success last year) a cucumber that does well in containers, have our first rhubarb harvest, and I hope to plant a raspberry bush in our front plot as well.  I'm going to give tomatoes a go again, despite two years of failure but I will research the variety better than I did before.
What I won't do or don't aspire to do is have chickens or bees of my own.  I support the efforts of those that do.  I think it is wonderful really.  But I don't want to care for any other beings right now.  And in the case of bees, chickens or anything other than a dog or maybe a turtle, I'm out.  I told Ky he could have a dog when he's ten.  By then he'll at least be able to care for it and the boys will be older and I'll feel more able to care for something that will have such dependence on us.

Food.  Glorious food.  Food culture, food politics, food accessibility.  Feeding us is a huge part of my life right now and will continue to be for many years to come.   Since I have committed to eating whole foods, organic and local as much as possible I feel learning to cook them to the best of my ability is important.  Not only cooking is high on my list, preserving food is also crucial to our style of nourishment.  So canning, freezing, and fermenting fall into this category.  That being said I'm sticking to learning about bread and meal prep as well as baking.  I won't be making mead, kombucha, or beer.  The main issue here being storage of large buckets, bottles and again the time involved.  Cheese and yogurt are possibilities in the future but more out of fun than providing for all or our dietary needs.  I also won't be making our soap, most cleaning products or many herbal remedies.  My reasoning here is that there are many local options for me to support others in these endeavors.  And again I don't want to store the supplies needed to make these things nor try to fit the tasks into our schedule.  Dave and I do have hobbies we share but he is not the ultimate do-it-yourself type guy.  We won't be spending our Saturday nights making soap though I applaud those that do and understand their motivations.

In the creative department I sew and embroider.  Those are my art, my future plan of personal and professional  fulfillment.  They are areas that this non-perfectionist most needs to perfect if that makes sense. Building a technical skill base to make the ideas in my head manifest into pieces for other to see.  That being said I don't knit or crochet.  I don't do pottery, professional photography, or cross-stich.  I want to be really good at sewing, quilting and working in fabric.  Bringing knitting onto the scene would divide my attention.  That doesn't mean that I'll never knit, there may be lots of time for learning it in the future but for now I'm refraining from yarn.

In the interest of keeping this long post from going into overdrive I'll list the other areas that I put my time into (or plan to in the future).  I am enjoying how these things are revealing themselves to me as time progresses.  I'm sure the list will change, expand or contract depending on circumstances and you know, life as it unfolds.

Reading :: blogs, poetry, fiction and non-fiction
Writing my blog
Yoga
Paganism/spirituality
Outdoors :: hiking, camping, travel, environmental protection
Feminism :: woman's issues, politics and democratic rights, maternal health

Thanks for sticking with me here. I'm wrapping up I promise.  What this all means is that in the limitless world before me whether on the internet or not I have to stop my dreamer self from creating a world that is impossible to sustain.  I'd love to do everything well.  Most of the things I listed above that I don't/won't do are not for lack of interest but are more about prioritizing.  The wonderful women that I read about who pursue these skills are admirable and most likely have their own lists whether they are conscious ones or not.  We all prioritize and some things inevitably don't make the list.  And that is good.  They can always be tried later or celebrated through another means.  Let's avoid burn-out, feeling like we are not stacking up to those around us or comparisons.  For those that seem to do it all I am sure that they are not.  No one does.  We are all just doing our best to fulfill our dreams and master what is really dear to our hearts.

Tales from my Garden Wrap-up 2011

Well I am currently enjoying a brief and rare treat of both boys napping at the same time!  So what to do, what to do....write a post of course.  My garden, oh, my little garden how you perplex me so.  I am still learning and I think I always will be about how to best grow food.  My first growing season here in our new home was all about trial and error and this year was mostly about error.  The Sugar Snap peas were our big success.  The squirrels were happy about my heirloom tomatoes but we were not.  Brandywine and I are officially done.  The Paul Robesons did not do great.  The squash had lovely blossoms but never turned into anything and the green peppers were small and not flavourful.  So, what to do?  Well plant tulip bulbs, clean out the pots and rethink it all for next season.  We will plant more peas, try some different tomatoes and since I have loved my cooking classes taken this fall I think a container gardening class is in order.  Something is wrong with my methods whether it is the potting soil composition or the watering or fertilizing - I'm not sure.  And while I'm at it I'll be sure to consult the star charts on the best planting days next season.  But reading other gardener's words gives me hope: it is all a journey and I may never figure it all out.  Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't.  C'est la vie and that's gardening folks.
 I'm happy that I tried, that the whole family loved eating sugar snaps right off the vine on the balcony and that under the earth we planted 12 yellow and orange tulips to grace us next spring after the primroses share their splendor.  And if they don't come up we'll just try, try again.

Tales from my Garden: summer heat

The sun and heat have arrived on the west coast.  And the garden is alive and growing.  As a novice gardener I think things are coming along nicely...but let's be honest it can change at a moment's notice.  First things first I wanted to show you the front garden which is finally "finished" for this year anyway.

From the enormous Hostas in the front you can see one perspective.  I should have taken the photo when the Lupine was in bloom it was a lovely pink.  The Rhubarb has grown happy stalks, the Primroses are bushy, we planted two fern varieties, Great Masterwort and some Impatiens for colour.

I am pleased with how the strip of river stones turned out. (once the trike is parked elsewhere they'll have more impact I think) And I'm on the lookout for a gnarled piece of wood to put between the Hostas at the back and the ferns.

As for the back patio the Paul Robeson tomatoes are fruiting.  Only flowers from the Brandywines yet.

We've been happily snacking on sugar snap peas.

Watching gorgeous spaghetti squash blooms turn solid.

And I'm anticipating a happy harvest of our Yolo Wonder green peppers.

I've been browsing Sugar Snaps and Strawberries: Simple Solutions for Creating Your Own Small-Space Edible Garden and it's a lovely book.  Dave informed me the other day that we need more plants out there....so I'm formulating a plan for next summer and this fall as well.  Despite summer's late arrival we're happy it's finally here.

Rhubarb forever

There has been some wonderful rhubarb writings in blogland these last few weeks.  I am a lover of rhubarb truth be told.  It still grows behind the barn on the farm I grew up on.  Rhubarb butterscotch pie is my absolute favorite kind of pie (no strawberries needed!) and I was treated to it twice when home this June.  My mom made one and my grandmother made one.  I also tasted my mom's rhubarb relish this year and it is really good with meat.  Rhubarb is that versatile.  In the interest of making my front garden edible as well as lovely to look at I have planted an heirloom variety rhubarb there with the name Victoria (three guesses as to who it is named after).  This vegetable needs to be left alone the first year it is planted so no harvesting this year but I can wait for something this good. 

 This plant is nice to look at too which is a bonus to it being so tasty.  I wanted to share the wonderful writings I've come across about it this year:

growing rhubarb tips

how to grow it and a recipe for rhubarb crumble

rhubarb muffin recipe

Spread the rhubarb love around.  Eating in season is so rewarding to the taste buds!

Tales from my garden

I thought I must get around to posting this garden update because the photos are already two weeks old and the plants are growing like crazy.  The above photo's flower emerged from a pot I planted last year with a wildflower mix of seeds.  If anyone knows what it is please leave a comment.  The fragrance from this one is lovely.

Here are the tomatoes, peas, and green peppers.  Both tomato plants are blossoming and the spaghetti squash is getting big and leafy at this point.  It's amazing what a difference two weeks can make.  Despite the weather taking its time to get warm the plants are progressing.  Being out on the patio is a pleasure with bees and birds and sunshine for company.

Book of the Month: May

Since this time of year it seems that everyone who has a garden is in it and even if you don't garden you can't escape the new life all around I've chosen The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett as book of the month.  I read it for the first time earlier this spring and after seeing the The Secret Garden (1993) film several times, the book was even more magical.  Set during the 19th century the story follows a young girl raised by emotionally distant parents who is orphaned and sent to live with an unknown uncle in England.  When she is forced to explore in nature she begins a transformation and therein lies the theme of the story.  This book is targeted towards young adults but I think any nature lover would enjoy it.

Tales from my Garden 2011

I am pleased to bring back my gardening adventures with a whole new space to fill up.  My gardening square footage has increased and hopefully my outcomes will prove more successful this season.  After blessing seeds for Imbolc I am trying to promptly get them into pots and the ground.  But first things first, I cleared out the front plot and am trying to plan the layout.

The back area against the house will have river stones since we were discouraged from planting anything closer than 18 inches from the foundation (due to Carpenter ants).

I pulled apart a humongous Hosta and planted parts of it at the rear.  They are hearty and love shade or part sun.  Only the first 4 to 5 feet of the garden gets direct sun. 

 

My plans for herbs are growing Lavender, Basil and Calendula from seed.  If I purchase some seedlings as well parsley is the only definite so far.  I've been consulting A Place in the Rain: Designing the West Coast Garden and of course Internet sources.  I think I may also reference Sugar Snaps and Strawberries: Simple Solutions for Creating Your Own Small-Space Edible Garden once I return from a vacation to Quebec in two weeks.

And as for my other edible plans my heat drenched south facing balcony is going to house some Heirloom tomatoes and is currently germinating some green peas.  I'm also going to attempt some squash and green peppers.  Ambitious you say?  Well, yes it is.  But it's all about trial and error and finding out what works in our new home.  I'll certainly be busy this summer but for me it's a fun busy when it comes to playing in the dirt!

My Birch Tree

A few years ago birch trees started to call to me.  They sent me messages that struck at my soul.  They compelled me to look closer at them, to meditate on who and what they are. 

I did research and found that the birch is a tree of beginnings, a tree of new perspectives and protection.  Birch trees are about everyday work, the tasks that are demanded for survival. 

I took it as an omen of good that there was a birch tree in the garden in front of our home when we moved in.  And the tree is the anchor on which the garden was built.  It touches the front of our home in places and I delight in its changes throughout the seasons.  In winter the raindrops glisten on the branches, in summer the leaves rustle in the wind.  For a long while I collected all the branches it discarded and made several things out of them.

I believe this one is a white birch although I'm no expert in identifying trees (yet).  The shade of a birch is dappled.  The small leaves make wonderful patterns of light.

I'm going to miss this tree.  I feel like its champion since my neighbour complained about it most of the time.

This is the first time that I've felt such a kinship with a particular tree.  I hope she lives long and brings delight to whoever the next family is to live here. 

A little at a time

Slowly I'm preparing the transition from this home to our new one.  In a month and a half we will move away from the only home that Ky has ever had.  Part of this change will be to process stages that he has passed through here, although the process will probably be more for me than him.  I don't move very easily.  I have felt ready for this change for months now so I am more optimistic than usual about packing, cleaning and culling but I feel the need to mark occasions that we've had here and leave physical evidence of our family's growth over the last 2 years.

When Ky was six months old I created a naming ritual for him.  In that ritual I made a rosemary wreath tied with a silver bell to hang in his room.  Many moons before his birth I read in a ritual book that I didn't own and I've long forgotten the title to about a rosemary wreath being dedicated to a child at six months of age and hung over or near their bed.  This wreath was supposed to deter naughty fairies from influencing the baby in a negative way.  In my research for creating a fairy garden I found that rosemary repels fairies. 

Since Ky is now two and a half I think he is strong enough in spirit to move beyond the initial sentiment in the wreath.  It represents his babyhood and with each day he becomes more and more a little boy and the baby in him fades into memory.  With that I decided to bury the wreath in the garden here rather than take it with us to our new home.  New energies await us there and it seemed fitting to keep his babyhood here where he was born and where he grew from a newborn to a toddler.

The wreath now rests in the soil near the primroses, hosta and lily of the valley.   Soon it will break down and feed the soil there.  The process of letting go has begun here in the earth....a little at a time.

On a side note Happy Canada Day to all Canadians and Happy Fourth of July to those of you from the U.S.  I hope you all have great long weekends of celebrations. 

A Wonderful Piece of Art

A lucky girl I am.  Why you ask?  Well, look at what was gifted to me recently.  This original piece of fairy wonder by the multi-talented  Sarah Biggs. 

She is my garden fairy but of course she won't be in the actual garden just watching over it.  I love the colours on her wings, the delicate hands and the tilt of her head. 

It is interesting to see yourself reflected in a piece of art that someone makes just for you.  I am amazed by  her aesthetic and what she mirrors of myself.  Regardless of the fact that Sarah and I have never met she was able to get this impression of me from this blog. 

I'll say it again, I'm a lucky girl.  Now I just have to find the perfect spot for her...and maybe she needs a name too.  What would you name her?