Big like Spring

As the light has been increasing in minutes each day I have felt more topsy turvy than usual. Does one become more sensitive to change as one ages? I seem to remember feeling much more focused at this time of year in the past. I guess it can be attributed to a different season of family life. A time when each of the four members of our family need our own time. I no longer steal moments for myself but rather schedule dedicated time. I can link the increasing light to my own increase in personal priority which often feels wrong. Mothers are notoriously bad at taking time for themselves without guilt. I honestly don't understand why but feel it just the same.
In January I began to meet with some wonderful women to venerate the full moon.  Marking this time for myself has been a balm to the soul.  Learning has blossomed; acceptance, peace, trust.  Meeting others where they stand and just being, such a gift. It could not have been at another stage of parenting, not with this level of maturity.  I am grateful to have this companionship and right now it encompasses most of my spiritual life.
Last week Elliott lost his first tooth.  I can compare the feeling of children growing to standing inside a tornado.  You are in the calm middle watching as the winds rush around you.  It is impossible to stop them, they offer you brief moments of beauty, pain, laughter, fear...but there is no stopping the movement.
The emotional challenge of right now leaves me feeling overwhelmed but I just keep going.  There is no other option.  I hope that some clarity will come, a path will open up and be less unknown or covered in brambles.  Other parents seem to have things aligned better but I know that really we all struggle. We all work hard to put one foot in front of the other and chart the unknown journey of our own life. To carry the weight of our own desire while balancing the day-to-day and do all this without maps. It feels big right now. Big like Spring in the growing light.

Books and Travel, travel and books...

Last year at this time I was researching travelling in London and the Channel island of Jersey in what would be the biggest trip our family of four had taken together.  I think it is safe to say the trip was a success.  We had planned a more modest road trip down the west coast to California this year but life stepped in as it tends to do.  So I am now in the midst of planning a 5 week extended holiday/work experience in France.

We plan to live in the south of France for a month and travel for ten days afterwards in June & July.  I can not believe it really. In the span of two years I will have been in two of the cities I have dreamed of visiting for most of my life.  London and now, Paris!  Each time I realize this I am overcome.  And so besides brushing up on my French I am reading, reading, and researching.  Pouring over the map of France and tracing train routes, working out dates and looking for rental apartments.

I was hoping to find some kids books about Paris like the London ones I found last year but so far I've had no luck.  Once I have read some more I'll do a book post similar to the London book one.  There are so many memoirs about living in Paris and fiction about France.  I will have to be very selective about what to read before and during the trip.

Speaking of reading I have dusted off my Goodreads account.  I found it tedious years ago when I began recording what I was reading.  But recently I have been trying to recall certain books that I have read and at times it is a struggle because I can remember a feeling about a book rather than a title.  So my Goodreads account will take care of this, along with my completed book shelf at my local library's website.  If you are interested in following me there my account is: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2556852-jen.

Dave plans to write a blog about our summer experience in France which I will be sure to write about once he gets it going.  I will write here as much as I can, as travel blogs are really handy and interesting for anyone planning a trip. À la prochane.