Tuesday, December 15, 2015
When I contemplated what I would write about this month's word: Myth, I was baffled for quite some time. So as we creep halfway through December I now feel ready to sort it out somewhat and lay it down for posterity.
Rather than using the "traditional story" definition of myth I am thinking of the "widely held but false belief or idea" version of the word. And specifically I'm referring to the myth(s) we tell ourselves about ourselves. We form stories from birth as our understanding increases. Other people can break or contribute to the myths we create for ourselves. These myths can often limit our capacity to change. And I've held many that broke this year.
One such myth was that I lacked drive to pursue a career. This year drive burst out if me with a vengeance and I feel like I crushed several beliefs that I had created about how much time I actually have to make art.
I will hold this year as a marker, a place that revealed many ideas I had about my core that were false. Perhaps they just could not emerge sooner than now. 37 was when they were supposed to become a part of me. It certainly is true that age gives one the gift of understanding more about ourselves. Or maybe it lets our constructed myths crack enough for us to consider other possible realities for who we are.
I have teachers around me, people that love me, who have helped these cracks open up as well. Challenging me to let go of rigid ideas of myself that are outdated or that limit my growth as a human. I am grateful for those lessons despite the fact that they can be painful to learn.
As I reach further than I ever have towards putting the pieces of my life puzzle together the coming year feels like a chance to push harder than before. At this point I feel that I have to potentially overreach in order to understand where the balance or sweet spot is. And the sweet spot will probably change more often than not but we will just have to adapt to that.
A human trait if ever there was one.