With the rains and winds of October's last day blustering yesterday we did our best to enjoy Halloween. Things, important things have been left out of this holy time of year for me.
Specifically our local Reclaiming's Spiral Dance ritual that I have attended every year for the last 9 years. Two of those years I was sporting a huge belly, and each year I have considered the time to be "mine."
A very important, sacred time to let go, honour, journey and celebrate rebirth. This year that didn't happen. This year I looked over the days of hectic fervor and thought to myself, no.
That was hard. It's not like I go out a lot these days, I rarely get to enjoy something with other pagans. Being a part of the local community is important to me and yet I neglect that aspect of myself.
I'm not here to defend or make excuses, just to reflect a moment. This moment was crystal clear when it dawned. My inner voice said, you are tired, you've pushed yourself and your family to accommodate several things already this month - something has to give. The most clarity in the moment came when I realized that I wouldn't really enjoy it. I knew I'd have a million other things on the list running through my head. I didn't feel able to be present - for the first time in 9 years it just wasn't going to work.
So I did not go. I thought of the ritual going on several times Sunday evening, I had a nap which is another rare thing for me. So instead of a ritual to soothe my spiritual self I rested my physical self.
The moral of this story is that as the hectic time of the holidays approaches try to listen to yourself. If you sense that something you have done for years, a tradition is just not coming together the way it has in the past that's ok. It's ok to bow out this year. And when next year comes around again you can return feeling a renewed sense of joy to participate. Or you may want to create a new tradition and see where that takes you.
Wishing you a blessed Samhain and hope you had a great Halloween.
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