Lessons in Letting Go

One aspect of this life stage (childrearing, late 30's) that never ceases to catch me off guard is the radical push that your sense of comfort gets.  Whether it is waking at all hours of the night, freezing on the sidelines of a rainy soccer game, or dealing with a gut wrenching emotional struggle that your 2nd grader is facing there are minutes, hours and days of discomfort.

One such event for me has been my boy's foray into the snowboarding world.  Other than a handful of skiing and snowboarding afternoons I have never really felt a call to hurtle myself down mountains on slippery, stylishly decorated wood & fibreglass boards.  My husband loves it.  My boys declared this fall that they wanted to try it.  And so lessons were set up and next week is the last of 5 weeks worth.

Kyan now loves it too.  Which surprised me.  I was full of discomfort on the first day, watching him pull the snowboard with one foot, a determined look of struggle on his face.  Every part of me wanted to tell him to unstrap his foot and forget about it.  I expressed this only to Dave who kindly told me Kyan was doing great.  As for our 4 year old, perhaps he was too young to start.  That determination was not in him for this activity yet.  But in a few years we will revisit it and see if he will join in the fun with Dad and big brother or hang out with mama doing something else.

The lesson that has become more apparent to me as the boys have worked on lifting their toes up and getting off the chair lift, is that I must endure the discomfort.  I must stand there with my hands in fists at my side and not comment.  There are so many things that my kids do that other parents may cringe at if their kids were doing. I don't get that feeling about: playing in mud, swinging sticks around,  walking a bit too far ahead on the trail....no problem.  They'll be fine.  Strapping a board on your feet and heading down a steep incline covered in snow.....Oh, my.....

But as I watched Kyan last week I felt a small sense of peace.  His slow and methodical personality shone through as he descended the run.  And I knew that he was ok.  The tension in my body relaxed slightly and I remembered again to let go.  Does the mama bird feel that apprehension when her young-ling flies off for the first attempt in the air?  Parenting is a never-ending series of letting go and holding close.  Certainly it's not recommended for the faint of heart.

Growing up with Art

The past few years has seen a decline in the amount that I blog about my kids.  I've noticed this happening on quite a few blogs as the genre has evolved over the past ten years.  As your children get older it seems a bit off to relay their day to day life.  It's as if the details are no longer yours to share but rather belong to the child.  Who knows if, as they age they will want every little detail of their childhood posted for the world to see.  So if I'm going to post something now, I think long and hard about it and I hope that when I do talk about our lives the boys will one day enjoy looking it over and not feel that I over-shared.

An opportunity presented itself last fall for the Garden Club of our school to participate in a public art project.  A new Whole Foods Market opened in our city and we painted the metal "birds" pictured here to be on permanent display in the Whole Foods Cafe.  Kyan has always loved making art and we were able to paint these two birds together.  He decided on the design of white with a grey circle and grey with a white circle.  I loved his graphic choice and simply helped him paint them.  

The influence of parents onto their kid's interests manifests itself in many different ways.  I look back on my own upbringing and see my mother's craft & design pursuits and my father's participation in community to have been influences on my personality.  I see art as part of my influence.  The boys have been to my art show openings, they see me sewing all the time.  We draw together, we see art exhibits together and they both state to who ever may ask them what I do that I am not only their mother but also an artist.  I have no idea how this will manifest later in their lives; if they will be art supporters, makers or enthusiasts, but I feel grateful that I can share my passion with them and that it is a part of our family life every day.

A December Collapse

Collapse is meant in a good way.  A crumple into sleep, the dark and rest.  After a busy first 3 weeks to the month is has been a nice change in these last few days of 2015 to revel in the longer mornings and extra sleep.

Our holidays have been nice, though I admit I was preoccupied by impending deadlines and keeping it all straight.  But as the year wanes it seems to make sense to have the good and stressful all mixed up since that was a theme of this year for me.

I don't feel that I have tons of observations other than the above at this point.  There is much I am looking forward in 2016.  One big thing is a gathering of ladies.  We are deciding to meet each full moon in a come as you are style.  These ladies are full of magic, we each come from different spiritual places but wish to share ritual and mark the passing of time.  This is a gift that my heart has longed for for some time.  I enter into it with no expectations other than a chance to acknowledge a part of me that has been dormant and needs some nurturing.

I send out many blessings to any who read this humble message for a happy new year, a year of discovery and growth.

Blessed Be.

January Dare

On the off chance that anyone is still reading here, I mean there hasn't been much to read in the last year but I am still here.  I've written posts in my mind but that does little good for the rest of you.  Here I am though.  And it feels good to be here, like I do in fact have something compelling me to write.
My lovely Heidi Joy bought me Nikki McClure's 2015 calendar.  Each month has a key word that works along with the image.  For January it is: Dare.  And so I'm daring myself to come back to this space and sit awhile.  To find where it fits into my world as it is now.

Our fall was very busy, and we traveled to my hometown for the holidays which was lovely.  Turning 37 this year has sent me for a bit of a tumble.  Oddly for one who has never really balked at the actual number of my age, 37 made me nervous and testy.  I've been working on why and it has something to do with melding two parts of myself.  My 20-something dreamer and my 30-something doer.  And if that is reminding you of a long ago post this is the one I talked about that comparison in. 

So here we are at the start of a new calendar year.  There is lots to talk about, think on and do.  I plan to share those things more regularly here because as it turns out I need this outlet now more than I have the past two sparser (in blog terms) years. I'll dust things off a bit in the next while and we'll go from there.

the waiting place

Our largest visitor to our bird feeder is this guy: a Pileated Woodpecker.  Isn't he lovely?  I've named him Woody since that is everyone (of a certain age's) only example of a woodpecker character.  We waited months for the big birds to become daring enough to check out the new feeder.  Luckily we were all home when he came for his meal and Dave was quick on the draw and got photos.

This week was on the low key side.  Both boys were down with fevers & coughs and so I felt like we were in the waiting place.  Waiting for the fevers to break, waiting for coughs to subside, waiting for their immunity systems to tackle the virus....I must admit I got cabin fever and wanted to get out and about.  But I was able to finish my jam from 2013's frozen berries, watch some interesting documentaries, and catch up on housework.  Our forced hiatus from regular scheduling will be over on Monday.

January has brought new projects to us all, new learning and new perspectives.  I feel really blessed in many ways these days.  There is a lot of hope in working towards goals either as individuals or as a family.

In November through to January I had a piece included in a Mail Art Exhibition.  My piece is the middle of the bottom row.  It is called Mary I and the central image is custom designed fabric with a photo of my paternal grandmother.  At some point this year I will receive another artist's work from this show and another artist who participated will get my pieces (I sent in three).  All pieces were 4 x 6", what are known as Artist Trading Cards or ATC's for short.  Overall the show was great with so much variety and work sent in from all over the world.  So again, I wait for my pieces to arrive in the mail at some point in the next months.  I love waiting for mail.  Sometimes the waiting place isn't bad at all.

December, an end to 2013

Here we are again as another year reaches its end.  This month has had some lovely quiet moments and some hectic ones.  Tensions that flow with the cycles of life and death that the earth clearly wants us to embrace at this time of year.  And yet we find it so hard to embrace them....

  Our solstice was perfect and quiet and just us four.  Its bookend was sickness for us with recovering just in time to celebrate Kyan's 6th birthday even if we were the worse for wear.  Our Christmas was not white but that was fine with me.  A little bit of snow around this time of year is all we need to feel the energy of winter arrive.

Tonight will be a thoughtful one for me.  I plan to think, evaluate and count my blessings.  There are not many words today.  Happy New Year.

March: Bringing up the rear

 This March brought much sweetness to our days.  Spending two weeks where I grew up with family and friends and trying to make maple syrup yet again.  It seems that the sap doesn't flow just because I really, really want it to.  But what the cold kept away the warmth of being surrounded by familiar people and the grounding nature of place filled up; not just for me of course but for my boys too.

When you live far away from the people who raised you, where your peers growing up, and know you in your first awkward and/or innocent versions it is surreal to return sometimes.  I often feel a bit out of sorts trying to reconcile the me of the past with the me of now.  But then you feel the old bonds, are taken care of in ways that speak more to your soul than to your rational mind and when I leave I feel full.  Full of the energy of those who formed my sense of self, who shared years of memories and made the person I am now possible.

  

So while the cold temperatures were difficult for this west coast convert to accept, there is no mistaking the spring in my step and deep gratitude I feel for being able to go home again.  And while we were away the youngest member of the family turned 2.  Oh, goodness here he is, 2 already.  I can't say that I wish he wasn't exactly where he is.  This little ball of cuteness that is full of mischief and silly grins, I dare say he is most perfectly himself and that makes this spring all the brighter (and of course busy).

So the thing about March is that it was over in a flash and now we are in full on spring mode and there is so much to say, so much good art about, and so much life being lived.  I can't help but feel optimism oozing out of everyone's pores.  2013 is quite a trip so far.

Family Winter Wellness

We are in the thick of it...that dreaded time of the year when most people are sick with something and we all do our best to avoid joining them if we can.  Last year I wrote a piece for Pagan Pages about family winter wellness and I wanted to re-post some of it here with a few additions that I have discovered over the past year.  Feel free to add any tips in the comments that you use with your family to stay healthy (since we can all use all the help we can get!)

The dark phase of the year often brings with it lower immune systems and colds and flus.    I  have become more aware of preventing illness and remembering these tips I’ve assembled is helpful even though they can be hard to put in to practice at times.  Of course if we do get ill we know that it is a message from our body that slowing down and resting is in order. And speaking of rest...

Sleep
Getting enough sleep is always important but since this is the darker time of the year it seems to be a better time to make that happen for yourself and your kids.   Let your evenings be as calm as possible.  If you can’t make every evening relaxing try and do it at least once a week.  Use candles or dim lighting to keep everyone more introspective.  Have some herbal tea for dessert and read together.  Have blankets on hand for getting cozy under and make sure that bedrooms are refuge-like for everyone.  

Wash those Hands
I know this one is about as basic as you can get but I am constantly amazed by how many people do not wash their hands properly.  The best way to prevent the spreading of illnesses is by washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with regular soap and water.  Many parents have hand sanitizer and wipes in case a sink is not an option before snacks when you are out and about.   You can help encourage your children to wash their hands by making it as fun as possible.  Soaps in fun shapes, colourful towels, and stools to help everyone reach the sink are really helpful.  Singing while washing always helps with my little one.  It will also help you to remember how long they need to wash.  Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star is our favourite standby for hand washing.

Eat immunity boosting foods
Remember to include immune system boosting foods like garlic and ginger in your family’s diet.   We love hummus which  has a healthy dose of garlic, this hot drink recipe looks great (although I would lessen the sugar replacing it with honey or maple syrup and just sweeten to taste)  broths are also great for health; chicken, beef or fish bones boiled down with water.   You can find a recipe here.  Also Mothering has a wonderful article about helping children with the flu that has stuck with me.  So much valuable information!

Colour Therapy
Grey days are hard for everyone but children can have a harder time communicating a feeling of sadness or moodiness that may be brought on by a lack of sunlight exposure.  One way to help that is to have sunny colours around your home for them to feed off of.  A bright wall hanging, throw pillows, making colourful art together and dressing them in sunny coloured clothing for daytime can all help with this often silent problem.

Skin Care
Staying hydrated is key in cold weather just like in the summertime.  Heaters and indoor re-circulated air dry out the skin.  Try using a gentle soap for your young one’s skin and use it sparingly in only the body creases or very dirty areas.  Otherwise use moisturizers and drink lots of fluids to try and keep your skin from drying out or cracking.  Also remember to use sunscreen if out on very bright days with lots of sun reflection.

Fresh Air
Fresh air is good for us and so is natural light.  There may not be much natural light to spare but it is a good practice to get out as much as you can.  The air indoors is never as good for your lungs as that from a brisk walk or an afternoon of outdoor fun.  Opening the windows for even a few minutes can help circulate the stale indoor air.   Light helps keep the winter blues at bay and makes your system function with the natural rhythms of the earth.

then comes snow

Winter has officially arrived in the Lower Mainland.  Specifically we have snow and below zero temperatures which for us is cold.   Last year we didn't get any snow so this year has been very exciting for Kyan and he's been making snowballs and crunching down paths to pre-school and telling me all in the same day: "I love the snow" or "I don't like the snow" depending on whether the extra clothing involved in playing in it has been donned or not. 

Keeping warm is my goal these days.  Besides my slippers (which I just noticed are starting to come apart after close to 6 years of use) I've been warming with scarves and tea. 

Our new year routine is moving along nicely.  I'm on week two of the 52 Weeks to an Organized Home Challenge and what I'm gaining from this daily ritual of tiding up is some serious help in those crazy moments.  Being on top of the housework is extremely satisfying when spending so much time indoors.  January is working out so far.  Not bad at all.

Quickie

I wanted to share a wonderful new e-zine that has just been published. Rhythm of the Home is a warm and brilliant place to spend some time with a cup of coffee or tea. The articles are written with care and are full of ideas for celebrating, crafting and loving. Check it out you won't be disappointed.
And I wanted to also mention that the new issue of PaganPages is up and my article for this month is full of ideas for connecting as a family post-Yule. It is called The Wintertime Family. Back with more soon. I've got to get on this festive bandwagon, this is my favorite time of year.

All about Colour

Living in tune with the seasons has brought me into closer contact with specific colours over the last few years. I never associated my various colour preferences to weather or nature much before but as each summer arrives I find that one or a certain combination of colours will jump out at me. In these moments it is almost as if I have never seen the colour before and there it is, enticing me, and delighting me every time I see it.

This gorgeous coral pink/orange began to be my favorite 5 years ago. It still speaks to me and I've combined it with chocolate brown, blues and greens. Just a bright, happy colour that is rich but rarely overpowering.

These were my wedding colours. Bright green, fuchsia and a blue close to turquoise. Our wedding was in the garden and I used a backdrop of white tablecloths to pop the colours out. I swagged the main tables in this ribbon and had various other references to these shades throughout the decor. Including: Gerbera daisies in fuchsia as centerpieces, my maid of honour wore a green and blue dress, and I hung shear ribbons in these colours from the trees around the ceremony site with small pieces of mirror attached that reflected light.

So what colour has made a place in my hear this summer? Yellow of course. Fashion and design trends have been using yellow for a few seasons now but something happened to yellow and I this summer...and well, I can't get enough of it.


For instance look at this Yarrow! Isn't it stunning? It is called terracotta and to be honest the tag said it goes from salmon pink to terracotta to cream....but this looks yellow to me. My Yarrow is loving this hot, dry weather and I've noticed wild Yarrow all over the city in ditches and on road sides. The wild yarrow is even more intense in colour, rivaling Goldenrod in it's brightness.
This is my sunny, happy person dress that I wore to a lovely June wedding. It jumped off the rack and into my closet. Luckily it was also on sale and perfect for my budget. I can't wait to wear this dress again. I've never had a yellow dress before. The photo makes it look a bit more sunflower yellow but I would say it's closer to butter.

And I just had to include this worn and simple quilt that was on our bed at the cabin on Salt Spring Island. Just a perfect hit of lemon. Yellow and white go great together.

Yellow is a great colour for it moves through each season. Sunny summers full of bright flowers, leaves in heaps in the fall. For winter time I think of squash and warm fires and for spring it is the hint of blossoms and the tone of the dead grass as green shoots start emerging. What are your colours this summer? Does your favorite ever change or do you stick with one? What do you associate with them? Colours say so much about your emotional and mental state. I guess mine is pretty sunny right now.